Dear Quentin Tarantino,

I recently saw your latest locally available DVD, “Death Proof”. I missed it in the theaters. Hey, for the price of admission, I can own it forever. Or at least for the next few years, until on-demand or BlueRay kill the DVD format for good. Lucky me.

My reaction to your film: you’ve jumped the shark, man. You’re now making parodies of yourself. I bet it’s fun, lots of laughs, yuk yuk. Wish I was on your crew, bet it’s a blast. (I’m a hard worker, I’d give it my all. And I’m clean. Go on, make me an offer.)

Please make another “Jackie Brown”. The world needs it.

Your pal,

J.